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Browse
Articles in " Humor "
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| A POSTCARD FROM PARADISE LOST
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(c) Theolonius McTavish 2004. All rights reserved.
Seeking a spot of serenity somewhere in the universe, I recently
booked a deep-discount dodgy berth on the ‘White Elephant
Express Space Shuttle’, to a little known place in a galaxy far,
far away.
“IT” (otherwise known as HD 36405.b) is not your averag ...
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By Theolonius McTavish
30 Jul 2008 12:25:04 |
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| Wanted: Treadmill for an Elephant
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Maggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983. The Zoo recently decided that Maggie needs nicer quarters, more attention, and a treadmill. She weighs 9,100 pounds and does not get enough exercise, especially during the long Alaskan winter months.
Alaska Zoo officia ...
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By Garry Gamber
18 Jul 2008 10:15:06 |
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| Osama and Saddam
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Osama and Saddam
You know that if he could've done it before 911, Osama would've
come out of his cave and gone to the top of a mountain where his
cell phone reception was better and had a conversation with
Saddam that would've probably gone something like the following
(translated into English for your convenience):
Osama said, "Hello, Sadd ...
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By Rocky Ramsey
07 Jul 2008 06:47:01 |
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| G8 Protestors Insist Nations Have The Right To Remain Poor
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This year, protestors in Rostock, Germany, were so enthusiastic that they demonstrated against the G8 Summit before it began.
Dozens of impatient groups took part, including communists, anarchists and environmentalists, whose goals were as mixed as their makeup.
But one protestor summed up the core of their anti-globalization gaggle: "They w ...
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By Tom Attea
23 Jun 2008 06:33:13 |
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| Custom T-Shirts - The New Fad?
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Have you ever wanted to design your own clothing? Do you ever see people wearing t-shirts with slogans on them and think "I could come up with something cool". Well, with technology improving in the customized garment printing industry, you can now make custom t-shirts yourself or at a variety of online ...
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By Jason Gesham
20 Jun 2008 05:01:10 |
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| Songwriter Confessions #2
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Any real Beatle fan knows that Stu Sutcliffe was the original
bass player,who died of a brain embolism before the Beatles
became famous. But what if it hadn't been Stu with the deadly
weakness, but rather...?
There is very little time left now. The meeting will take place
in a matter of hours: an event so significant for future
...
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By Bill Dollar
04 Jun 2008 12:00:24 |
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| Everything I Need To Know I Learned From Drinking Coffee
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After analyzing over 17,000 Dutch men and women, researchers
recently concluded that those who drank seven or more cups of
coffee a day were half as likely to develop type 2 diabetes than
those who drank two cups or less. The study was led by Rob van
Dam while at the Dutch National Institute for Public Hea ...
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By Deb Voss Quail and Roxanne Vincent
13 May 2008 06:10:06 |
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| Old Sparky! Needlephobia, Nerve Conduction Tests, and
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I felt queasy contemplating the nerve conduction test and
electromyelogram (EMG) I was about to have. The nerve conduction
test involves taping electrodes to the skin and sending a small
jolt of electric current to them. During the EMG, the doctor
inserts tiny needles into various muscles and examines the
signals displ ...
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By Holly Jahangiri
13 May 2008 06:09:51 |
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| Ringtone bird drives Finnish chemistry student up a wall
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This is Finland. Mostly an eerie northern place where winter chills, sauna heat and ringtones form a cocktail that touch the life of a man (and a woman) in the most profound way. And oh boy, Markku, a young chemistry student from Finland surely has had his share of this cocktail. I'm in his apartment now. He starts to speak.
Imagine, i ...
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By Antti N.
13 May 2008 06:07:42 |
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| Poverty Can Be Erased
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I'm back at my restaurant enjoying a nearly cold cup of coffee
(without the whitener) as I began to read one of the back pages
of my newspaper.
The top article had a title like Pentagon Spending Under Review.
The story had something to do with hammers, toilet seats and
coffee makers, or something like that.
Furt ...
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By Mark Brennaman
13 May 2008 06:07:11 |
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| Driver Beware
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A glance in my rear view mirror. Nothing within a 100 yards. A second later I glance again and there is a silver Lexus so close, I can see the driver's had one of his teeth capped. I look again and the car has disappeared. Where did he go? My left eye catches a silver blur and what looks like a sneer fr ...
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By John Hartnett
13 May 2008 06:06:54 |
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| Spring Has Sprung
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This article may only be reproduced in its entirety, including
the resource box and subscription information electronically or
in print. A courtesy copy of your publication would be nice, too!
Spring has sprung...like it or not... By Dan Reinhold
The monster snowfall that covered many parts of New England is ...
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By Dan Reinhold
13 May 2008 06:04:09 |
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| How to find old friends
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Alright, that was just a nice way to putting it. Its actually more like...
* I'm bored, its for fun!
* Just trying to locate a friend
* I'm playing detective
* My first step to revenge
What ever it may be, let us continue on with the guide and embrace the sicko within us all.
First off, we need information on the victim, ahemm target. We ...
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By Dave Loh
13 May 2008 06:03:08 |
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| Sequnned Suits & Platform Boots
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Fancy coming up to my bedroom? There isn’t a chair but the
bed’s comfy. You can lie down on it if you like but take the
pink nylon bedspread off first or my ol’ lady’ll go bananas and
knock you for six!
So what do you think then? Do you like my room? I'm a teenager
now y'know - you’ll find no daft kittens on ...
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By Sharon Jacobsen
13 May 2008 06:01:44 |
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| Free Funny Ecard and Free Funny Ecards
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A free
funny ecard is a way to brighten someones day whether you
are living in the same area or whether you are living far away.
Free funny ecards are available through several different
websites. Many of these websites will have free funny ecards
that are in 3d and have many different types of pictures. A free
funny ecard is ...
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By Christian
13 May 2008 06:00:49 |
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| Pattaya Beach [Thailand] Dawn Freak Show - Pattaya Beach at
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I call it the Pattaya Beach 'Dawn Freak Show!'
If you’ve even been to Thailand, specifically Pattaya Beach, you
will already know there’s an unlimited variety of sights and
sounds to experience there. If you enjoy just relaxing and doing
some serious ‘people watching’, then without a doubt, this is
the place for you! Let me tell you now, if ...
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By Tony Wells
13 May 2008 05:59:41 |
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