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Is Monday the worst day of your week? Can you hardly remember
when you enjoyed going to work? Do friends ask why you seem so
down? Maybe this has been going on awhile, and you’re realizing
it’s time to do something. But where do you turn? At one moment
you tell yourself “It’s just my career…Change that, and
everything will be OK”. Another moment, you acknowledge you’re
living under a cloud and a lot of old emotional ghosts are
returning. Your friend who’s recommending you consult her
therapist may be right. Your uncertainty is understandable. Work
itself is never “just work” but can reach deep into our
attitudes toward ourselves and into our sense of belonging in
the world. Furthermore, therapy and coaching have much in common
and differ primarily in the emphasis each places on action and
understanding. Whether you decide to deal with your work issues
through a practical approach or a psychological approach is a
matter of choice. The questions posed below should help you make
that choice. •Are you an action person or an insight person?
Most people are both, in some mix, but they instinctively
approach change either by setting it in motion with action or by
first assessing and preparing for its emotional impact. A shy
mid-level manager, for example, who has taken on new
responsibilities that involve public speaking, may gravitate
toward a Toastmasters group for help. She would be a candidate
for coaching if she wanted to develop her mastery further. Or
she might prefer to look toward therapy as a setting in which
she could explore her anxieties about being in the spotlight.
•What’s your track record for converting personal desires and
dreams into real-time? Although all of us may have periods of
doubting whether we deserve work we love and are good at, being
able to sustain a commitment to having what you want is
essential for coaching. If you find yourself stuck in
daydreaming about the ideal career, or perhaps avoiding or
sabotaging efforts to create it for yourself, it may be that
you’re blocked by low self-esteem and/or depression. In this
case, therapy might be the better choice, to help you build a
positive investment in yourself.
•Holding your feet to the fire…too hot? In the process of
revitalizing your career, there’s plenty of research to be done:
research into yourself – who you are now and what you want – and
research into the marketplace. A therapist would accompany you
in researching yourself but would only indirectly participate in
your market research. Homework and accountability are generally
built into coaching, designed by you and your coach. Whether you
find accountability motivating and focusing, or unwelcome
pressure, should help inform your decision. •Do you want an
expert or a companion? A therapist will invite you to go deeply
into issues that may be blocking or confusing you, and may draw
on his or her expertise to challenge your definition of the
problem. A coach will invite you to co-create the goals and
design of the coaching, and your stated agenda will be the focus
unless you decide to change it. Both therapist and coach will
help you see what you can’t see, but you remain more explicitly
in charge of coaching than you would of therapy. If you come to
the conclusion that you want to look into psychotherapy, it’s
advisable to look for word-of-mouth recommendations whenever
possible. Another possibility is to consult your local Mental
Health Association. Many people find it empowering to ask for
sample visits with at least two therapists before making their
decision. If you decide on coaching, be sure to inquire about
training, in addition to experience, as you’re looking for a
coach. The International Coaching Federation maintains a
credential that assures the client of a high level of both
training and experience. And remember, nothing precludes doing
therapy and coaching simultaneously. Some people find it a
powerful duo. Good luck on your quest!
About Author :
Nina Ham, certified coach and licensed psychotherapist, is
principal of Success from the Inside Out, providing individual
coaching and teleseminars to build the skills, attitudes and
habits for sustainable success in your career or business. Mail
to: Nina@womenssuccesscoach.com, subscribe in subject line, for
free monthly e-zine, or visit
http://www.SuccessfromtheInsideOut.com.
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