If you use your brain, you can communicate better, but what
“brain” are you going to use? Why not use them all?
Standard understanding of the brain right now is that it is
“triune,” with three parts – the reptilian, or primitive brain;
the limbic brain; and the neocortex. Further, the neocortex is
divided into two hemispheres, the right and the left.
REPTILIAN
Briefly, the reptilian brain is responsible for keeping us alive
and evolved millions of years ago. We share it with reptiles.
This brain operates territorial defense and aggression, sex
drive, and rudimentary life-maintaining systems such as
breathing and heartbeat. It’s automatic. We have no control over
it.
EXAMPLE
When someone pushes you out of line in the movie theater,
although it isn’t really life-threatening, our reptilian brain
acts as if it were. It is always lurking there, ready to flare
up and “protect” us. It’s responsible for a lot of fear we feel
during the day.
LIMBIC
The limbic brain evolved next and we share it with mammals. It’s
responsible for the look we see in the dog’s eyes, and the way
horses attune to us. It gives us the parenting urge (reptilians
abandon their young at birth), bonding, compassion, family-ties,
and things like that.
EXAMPLE
When the baby cries at night and you’d rather be sleeping, you
get up. Why? Because those parental emotions are tugging at you.
NEOCORTEX
The neocortex, or thinking brain was the last to evolve, and
belongs exclusively to humans. It is divided into two halves,
the left hemisphere (left-brain) and the right hemisphere
(right-brain). They aren’t isolated or separate. They are
divided by something called the corpus callosum, which allows us
to switch from one to the other.
The corpus callosum is typically better developed in women. This
is why women can generally move from talking about feelings to
talking about thoughts more easily than men can, though of
course there are exceptions.
You will either be left-brain dominant, or right-brain dominant,
but you can develop both sides and the communication between
them by developing your emotional intelligence. I have worked
with many people who have developed both sides of their brain so
they are very balanced between the two. However, under stress,
you will always revert to your dominant mode.
Here is a website where you can take a free assessment to see
which you are: http://www.susandunn.cc/assessments.htm .
Left-brain
The left-brain is verbal, sequential, linear, and logical.
People who are left-brain dominant respond to word meanings
(more than how it’s said), plan ahead and go by steps, recall
people’s names, and speak with fewer gestures and less
expression.
Right Brain
The right brain is visual, holistic, and random. People who are
right-brain dominant process in varied order, respond to emotion
and tone of voice (more than the actual meaning of the words
spoken), are more impulsive, remember people’s faces (more than
their names), and use more gestures and expressions.
COMMUNICATION
This is how this helps with communication. The hemisphere that’s
dominant affects how the person hears, learns, relates and
problem-solves, as you can see.
EXAMPLE
If you want to explain a project to a left-brained person, give
them a step-by-step outline, with a timeline and accountability.
Right-brained people prefer to be told what to do, but not how
to do it. They’re adept at figuring out how. Right-brained
people, being visual, prefer to see something like a mind-map –
it gives them the points to be covered, but does not dictate the
order.
Since right-brained people are more flexible, if you’re
right-brained, you may need to accommodate to the left-brained
people with whom you work. That’s just the way it works.
Whatever it takes to get a project done, right?
TAKE THE TEST
Here’s a test to see if you understand the difference. Which
“brain dominant” is talking in each of these examples, “right”
or “left”?
1.First you put a cup of flour in a bowl. Then you add a
teaspoon of salt. Then you cut in a cup of shortening. Right or
Left? 2.Mix up some flour and salt and shortening in a bowl. A
cup or 2 of flour, some salt. Right or Left? 3.The first step is
to do some general market research so you can get the big
picture. Right or Left? 4.The first step is to write down your
goals and objectives. Then do a timeline. Then do an
accountability chart. Then do a budget. Then call me. Right or
Left? 5.No one ever accomplished anything without a dream. Right
or Left? 6.No one ever accomplished anything without a plan and
a lot of hard work. It’s in the details. Right or Left?
7.Personal hygiene means brushing your teeth, washing your hair,
putting on deodorant, and wearing clean clothes. Right or Left?
8.Personal hygiene means keeping yourself clean. Right or Left?
9.You’re driving me nuts with details. Just give me the ballpark
figures. Right or Left? 10.Making a business projection is like
throwing a dart at a board. You can’t predict what’s going to
happen. Right or Left? 11. Stop yelling at me. It isn’t what you
say, it’s the way that you say it. Right or Left? 12.Will you
stop jumping around and tell me what you do one step at a time,
please? Start at the beginning and go one by one. Right or Left?
13.Yes, I’d like to hear what’s bothering you. Start anywhere
you like. Right or Left? 14.I don’t care what the figures
indicate. I’m going with my gut instinct. Right or Left? 15.Draw
me a picture. I can’t figure out what the heck you’re talking
about. Right or Left? 16.I want a flow chart. I want to know the
hierarchy and the sequence of events, and I want a logical
explanation for each step. Right or Left? 17.I can’t
concentrate. It’s too quiet in here. Right or Left? 18.Help me
figure out who Ben Adams is. I know he’s here because he’s the
CFO, but I can’t remember what he looks like. 19.I know that guy
over there. I saw him last week at Rotary. But what’s his name?
Right or Left?
ANSWERS: Right – 2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 10, 11, 13, 14, 15, 17, and 19.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Emotional Intelligence means understanding how the brain works,
how we process information, how to manage emotions, and how to
communicate better. When you study EQ, your problem-solving
skills, teamwork, leadership and interpersonal skills will
improve, as well as your resilience. You’ll function better at
work and at home, with better relationships, and better health.
You’ll be more effective, more efficient, and you’ll handle
stress better.
Take an EQ assessment: http:/ inyurl.com/z94t . Then take The EQ
Foundation Course, which is on the Internet and interactive.
Then work with a certified emotional intelligence coach. EQ is
not something you can “just” read about.
Improve your EQ and you’ll notice positive results in your life
immediately.
About Author :
©Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach,
http://www.susandunn.cc . I teach individuals and businesses
emotional intelligence through individual and group coaching,
workshops, Internet courses and ebooks –
http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.htm. ). A total program
for personal and professional development.
Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine.